


get a new face

by canonjohnlock



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Crack, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 02:47:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18651349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canonjohnlock/pseuds/canonjohnlock
Summary: Bucky has a doppelganger. That's unfortunate for his doppelganger.





	get a new face

**Author's Note:**

> Set after Endgame. The timelines for Sebastian's movies probably don't make sense but don't worry about it. Based on the fact Seb exists in the MCU since Scott Lang mentioned Hot Tub Time Machine as an example for rules of time travel. This is also unedited and probably really shitty. Ignore it.

Bucky is sitting on his couch in his apartment when a text from Steve comes through. He sets down his plate of microwaved lasagna and wipes his hands on his sweats.

**Steve**

_What mission was this?_

**Steve**

_.jpeg_

Bucky opens the photo and- well, shit. It looks like him naked on a scooter in front of an equally naked woman. His memory isn’t exactly what it used to be, but he knows he’d remember this. And he knows Sam wouldn’t let him forget it either. The man on the scooter certainly _looks_ like him, but he has shorter hair and no beard and Bucky hasn’t cut his hair in a while or shaved. So it can’t be him.

**Bucky**

_that’s not me_ , he sends to Steve.

**Steve**

_It looks like you._

**Bucky**

_i know. but it’s not me. there’s no metal arm._

**Steve**

_Didn’t Shuri give your arm cloaking abilities?_

**Bucky**

_yes, but i know that’s not me. you’re getting senile, old man._

**Steve**

_:P_

Bucky rolls his eyes. He wasn’t mad at Steve for staying in the past. He couldn’t be. Steve deserved his happy ending. Was he a little put out at being left behind? Sure, but he was happy for Steve. Really. He squinted at the photo for a moment longer. Weird.

…

Bucky’s phone vibrates loudly in his pocket, interrupting his intense game of poker with Sam and Steve. No one ever really calls him, so he checks it. It’s Peter, the spider kid. Bucky had given Peter his number simply because the kid was devastated after losing Tony and Bucky knew a thing or two about loss. So he had listened to Peter whenever he needed it and would help out with hero duties when necessary. He slid his thumb across the screen to answer. “What’s wrong, kid?”

“Did you forget me?” Peter asks with no preamble. “I know sometimes you forget things and I understand that, but did you forget me entirely? It seemed like you had no idea who I was! Unless you were undercover! Oh, God! Did I ruin a mission?”

“Kid, slow down. What?” Bucky sets his cards on the table and stands up, waving away Sam and Steve’s questions.

“I saw you at the store, so I went to say hi and you had no idea who I was!”

“When?”

“Two minutes ago!”

“That’s not possible. I’m in Brooklyn playing poker with Sam and Steve.”

“What?”

Bucky puts the phone on speaker. “Say hi, guys.”

“Hi!” they chorus.

“Oh,” Peter says. “I saw a guy who looked _exactly_ like you then. Like, exactly like you.”

“Weird.”

“Yeah.”

“Anyway, I didn’t forget you, so don’t worry.”

“Good. See you soon!”

“Yeah, sure. Bye.” He hangs up and stares at his phone. Once is a fluke, twice is weird. Very weird.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks.

“The kid thought he saw me at the store, but it wasn’t me. I think I have a doppelganger.”

“Dude, cool,” Sam says.

“Yeah,” Bucky says, picking his cards back up. “I raise ten.”

…

Bucky is on a walk in Central Park when a teenage girl stops him and asks for a photo. “Uh, sure?” Bucky says. This is more Sam’s thing since picking up the shield, but the girl is looking at him with hearts in her eyes and it would feel wrong to say no. He smiles for the photo and the girl takes it.

“Are you- Are you working on any new projects?” she asks.

“Projects?”

“Yeah. Is that why you’re growing your hair out?”

“It’s always been this long.” The girl stares at him. “ _Oh_. Who- Who do you think I am?”

She tilts her head to the side. “Sebastian Stan? Is this method acting?”

So his doppleganger has a name. “Right. Uh, listen. I’m not- I’m not Sebastian. I’m, uh, Bucky Barnes? The uh, Winter Soldier?”

The girl blinks. “Oh! Captain America’s sidekick!”

“I am _not_ Sam’s sidekick.”

“You kinda are.”

“Agree to disagree,” Bucky mutters. “Sorry to disappoint you.”

The girl shrugs. “I’m not disappointed. You’re okay.”

“Gee, thanks.”

The girl walks away and Bucky Googles this Sebastian guy. He’s an actor, usually taking on supporting roles, and Bucky has to say the similarity between the two of them is uncanny. But the differences stop there. Stan has never been a prisoner of war or brainwashed and he certainly wasn’t made to be a weapon. So Bucky has a famous doppelganger out there. No big deal.

…

Very big deal. _Very big deal_. “That’s impossible,” Sam says into the phone. Steve’s shield is strapped to his back and Bucky is watching his six while they stand on the roof. The bad guy of the week is in the basement of the building across from them and is on the phone with Sam. “No, it’s literally impossible. The Winter Soldier is behind me.”

Bucky gives Sam a confused look. He puts his hand over the phone. “He says he kidnapped you.”

Bucky snorts. “I’m right here, pal.”

“That’s what I said!” Sam speaks into the phone again. “Look, I don’t know who you have, but it isn’t the Winter Soldier. No. Yes, I’m sure. Uh-uh. Oh. Okay. _Shit_.” He hangs up the phone. “They have your doppelganger.”

“The actor?!”

“Yeah, apparently. They said they’d trade the actor for you.”

“Uh, okay. Let’s do that.”

Their plan runs smoothly. The bad guy isn’t very good at being bad and surrenders as soon as Bucky raises his fist to punch him. The actor, Sebastian, isn’t harmed, but a little shaken up. “Shit, dude,” he says, brushing dust off his jeans. “That guy doesn’t know when to shut up.”

“Villain monologue?” Sam asks.

“Just like in movies,” Sebastian says. He looks over at Bucky. “I see it.”

Bucky gives him a good once over as well. “I don’t look quite so wimpy.”

“Wimpy?! I didn’t cry once during this kidnapping! And there were plenty of opportunities to.”

“Do you want a medal?’ Bucky deadpans.

Sebastian rolls his eyes. “I’m just saying, I handled this pretty well for my first kidnapping.”

“Yeah, congrats.”

“It’s not easy being confused for you, you know. Someone blamed me for the Kennedy assassination!”

“They weren’t too far off the mark, then,” Bucky said, scratching his head. “Robert, not John.”

Sebastian stared at him. “Right. Uh.”

“Well, you’re free to go now,” Sam says. “Good luck.”

“Thanks for saving me. Nice meeting you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky says.

…

“Again?” Bucky sighs.

Sam nods. “They got Sebastian.”

“Jesus Christ.”

…

“You!” Sebastian yells in the middle of the crowded street, pointing directly at Bucky. “Stop making me get kidnapped!”

“Get a new face!” Bucky yells back.

“You get a new face!”

“I had it first!”

Sebastian glares at Bucky. Bucky glares back. “Coffee?”

Bucky nods. “Yeah, okay.”

…

Sebastian has Bucky on speed dial for when he gets kidnapped. Bucky doesn’t bother to save his number, but he does see his movies when they come out. Steve uses the picture of Sebastian naked on the scooter as Bucky’s profile picture in his phone. Sam puts up posters for villains to tell the difference between Bucky and Sebastian. It’s a weird situation.

…

_Buzzfeed Poll: Who’s more attractive: the Winter Soldier or Sebastian Stan?_

_Results: 79% Winter Soldier, 21% Sebastian Stan_

**Sebastian**

_rigged_

**Bucky**

_just the facts_

…

After Sebastian’s tenth kidnapping, Bucky, Sam, and him go to get frozen yogurt. Like Bucky said, it’s a weird situation.


End file.
